Otso-Otso

I took the Enneagram Test twice – during last school year’s leadership training seminar (LTS) when I was a participant and last summer when I was an LTS student faci.

I am torn between standing up and doing the Otso-Otso, and flinching and slowly sliding down on my seat whenever they flash the results before me. I am always QUEST Numero Otso – I work hard, and do the Otso-Otso hard too.


Growing Mountains.
I cannot uproot a santan plant with bare hands, much less move mountains.

When Ms. Alona read the interpretation during my first LTS, I was speechless. Could it be true? I guess it comes with the experiences and hardships I’ve encountered in life (07-08 LTS batch and SPT team shussshh..J). I think I draw my strength from the blessings that I receive, the people who give me courage, experiences that enlighten me and show me that despite the problems, I am still fortunate. My mother was a big influence (oh, she can move the refrigerator or the cabinet by herself) and watching her face everything gave me that strength (I am my mother’s daughter after all). Most importantly if not for my ‘tiklop-tuhod’ (as Ms. Alona puts it) sessions with the Almighty, I wouldn’t be able to meet challenges head on.

I may not have enough muscle power to literally move mountains, but with God by my side, I believe I have enough strength to uproot ‘damo-damos’ and plant changes (in school, in stud orgs and someday in the workplace) that would hopefully (through the help of other people) grow, multiply and become mountains that can never be moved.


Rarrr.
QUEST says: I am Direct. I am Strong. I am Straightforward. I am Honest. And don’t gossip about me or betray my trust. Rarrr.

I am an honest person and I can only trust a person twice. I respect individual differences, understand the fact that nobody’s perfect. Usually when I am bothered about something involving a close friend I can’t sleep without telling that person. Of course, I choose my words carefully and make sure that we’re still friends after the open forum. And I prefer if my friends would confront me, rather tell somebody else and start a gossip. I trust easily but sadly, one backstab move is enough to break that trust. Sometimes I’m quiet about how I feel – at times the person doesn’t even know that I already found out how she started the gossip. I forgive easily but it usually takes ages before I heal and bring back that trust. I’ll move on for sure. I would treat you in a civil manner but sadly I wouldn’t be able to share my life with (nor it lay down for) you.

Am No Promil Kiddo. Am Vulnerable.
But I never knew that I would come to be the Numero Otso. I’m not a Promil Kid. In fact I gave up on milk when I was two years old (when my Dad mixed it with sugar). I was extremely shy when I was in kindergarten. I used to bite my nails, sit in a corner and just watch people with a curious look on my face. No I’m not crazy. Looking back, I’ve come to realize the real reason for my ‘people watching’: I observe people so that I’d know how to approach them. I fear rejection and of not being liked. I make sure that I know who I’m dealing with – evidence that points to the fact the we Otso- Otsos do not want to open up and reveal their vulnerable side unless we know yours.


No, not Lola, Please.
They call me Mommy Rose, Ate Rose, Ninang Rose.
I have this ‘mother instinct’ in me. I agree with the results of the test. My youngest sister would usually comment on how strict I am with her. I have heart-to-heart sessions (she calls it nagging) with her more often than my mother does. I usually comment on how short her skirt is or if her clothes are too revealing or how she’s too young to have a boyfriend.

I am also a magnet for people who need advice. I don’t usually remember what advice I give them or how I came up with such gibberish (hehehe). Guy friends would usually turn to me for help with wooing a girl – what to say, how to say it, when to say it, what to wear, the works.

Thus the name Mommy Rose, Ate Rose, Ninang Rose. But don’t call me Lola, please. I am neither wise nor old enough to give you advice on covering gray hair, back pains, arthritis, memory gaps, menopause, etc.


Am No Amazon.
“Rosie – She looks like one of those snotty types who wouldn’t care if you were dying at her feet…. In reality, she wouldn’t hurt a fly…she would actually eat one” – A guy friend’s Friendster testimonial.

QUEST says: I am intimidating. I am dominating.

And I slid lower and lower down my seat.
In my 23 years of existence, only three people had the guts to tell me that I am indeed intimidating – my two best friends and a guy I used to date (guess I kind of scared him away). The fact that only three people had the courage to tell me is evidence enough I guess. It may have to do with the fact that I have a strong personality, making me appear as if I don’t need anybody’s help. But I do! I do! I’m just waiting for the person’s initiative. I am usually uncomfortable if people ask me if I need help – I put too much pressure on myself and I feel as if I’m inadequate and incapable. I prefer if they would help me automatically, without asking me. And I need your moral support, your words of encouragement to keep me going and going and going! But don’t flatter me. I don’t know how to take compliments sometimes. J


The Dark Side
Driving Force: Lust/ Excess
Need: Innocence

And I flinched.
I took the test twice and I get confused whenever we get to this part. Maybe my driving force is excess/lust because I want to acquire so many things, I want to achieve so many things in life that it gets all tangled up that I don’t know what to prioritize. Maybe I need ‘innocence’ because I do too much, that I have this need to do and know everything even if it’s neither essential nor relevant. Maybe I need to step back every once and a while and forget about everything I know just so I could see problems (may it be with friends, in stud orgs, family) in a different light. I honestly don’t know how I’ll handle this. There are times when I feel the need to do something, anything, because I feel like such a failure if I’m not doing something, anything…


On being Otso and doing the dance step
I run out of batteries to keep me going as so I have to recharge every once in a while. Every ‘nakaw na sandali’ (times of the day when I’m not doing anything) I try to get all the enjoyment I can out of life - go somewhere cozy or relaxing and chat with friends, dance with Paeng, Diane and Deanne, have a heart-to-heart talk with my family, take a stroll, watch a flick with friends, etc. I hang out with people who I can unleash my ‘kengkoi’ side.

Out of the personality tests I took, the Enneagram test hit closest to home. It revealed my ‘unknown self’ (of the famous Johari Window) and has helped me acknowledge different aspects of my personality. It has actually influenced me a lot when I was part of a student organization, when I was tasked to something that I have no prior experience with.

It is difficult and tiring to be the strong Otso-Otso. And I look silly doing the Otso-Otso dance move. But it helps to know that I am one. And that I can dance to it. “Tayo’y mag Otso-Otso, Otso-Otso, Otso-Otso..…”